If you are like me and have a busy brain that never seems to slow down, it can feel impossible to settle easily into a restful night sleep. It can be 10:00 pm and my mind will still be turning over conversations from the day, to do lists for tomorrow, and my plans for the future. What is more frustrating is that I know the benefits of sleep; I am not actively trying to get less of it. After subsisting through much of college on five hours of sleep and a hearty breakfast of stress and coffee, I knew it was time to change. I began to devise a personal routine that takes no more than 30 minutes total to complete and allows my mind to drift peacefully into restful sleep.
1. 10 minutes of guided mediation.
I use YouTube to find guided meditations. I also have heard great things about the Headspace app. Once you become more experienced, you can attempt to meditate in complete silence without a guide. Meditation turns the air you breath into a sweet-tasting gentle breeze while lifting fictional concerns off your tired shoulders. By breathing and noticing the sensations in your body, you become deeply in touch with a feeling of full presence. Above all things, meditation teaches me that the tragedies that exist in my mind are just figments of my imagination. The only thing that really exists is the present moment and our relation to it.
It is important not to grow frustrated with yourself during meditation if you do not immediately feel blissfully calm. Mediation will then become a chore or, “something you are bad at”. Try not to label anything during the process of meditation; simply become aware of what is occurring around and within you. Another trick I use while meditating is to question the thoughts that come into my head. If I think something particularly mean spirited, I ask myself, “Do I really believe that? What is the origination of this negative thought? What stressed me out today that I need to address?”.
2. Read excerpts from books on Buddhism and Stoic Philosophy.
These philosophical schools of thought conceptually overlap in their attempt to calm emotional turbulence. I find that Buddhism tends to focus more on humanistic elements of life such as compassion, love and awareness. Stoic philosophy attempts to dampen the effects of the ego and anxiety with unsentimental logic. Both of them are attempting to accomplish the same end: to help you regulate your emotions in a way that is conducive to equanimity. Buddhism has taught me to worship the present moment as a sacred container of infinite miracles. We all have so much to be grateful for, yet we are often blinded by the broad-beamed intense light of our racing thoughts. Through Stoicism, I have learned to rigorously examine my thought processes until I find the root of negative emotions. This process has helped acquaint me with the inner-workings of my mind while simultaneously helping me control my thoughts. These texts serve as an antidote to the negative thought patterns that keep me awake at night. The two books I usually read before bed are the following:
The Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” – Marcus Aurelius’
No Mud, No Louts by Thich Nhaht Hahn
“The main affliction of our modern civilization is that we don’t know how to handle the suffering inside us, and we try to cover it up with all kinds of consumption.” – Thich Nhat Hahn
3. 10 minutes of journaling.
After taking the time to observe my thoughts and change my perspective through reading, my mind is ripe for 10 minutes of journaling. My journaling practice contains a loose structure that I often deviate from. I often start by writing exactly how I’m feeling and why. This helps me see the logical sequence of my thoughts on paper. I can see what events or thoughts lead me to be anxious. This helps me a) avoid them in the future and b) change my approach to these situations if they are unavoidable. I then proceed to write about all that I am grateful for: my girlfriend, my family, my friends, my health, my bed, the food in the pantry… the list is infinite. Reading texts about Buddhism has helped me to cultivate gratitude in any moment. Lastly, I write 5 goals I want to accomplish in my life. I write the same 5 every night as a way to program them into my mind before bed. I encourage you to stretch the outer limits of conscious imagination with your goals: start a non-profit, travel to every continent, write books, discover a cure for Alzheimer’s. This fills me with a sense of hope that only results in a feeling of joyful equanimity.
4. Drinking caffeine free tee.
After I have gone through the following check list, I drink Chamomile tea while reading (preferably fiction) for about 20 minutes until I am ready to hit the lights. This helps you relax before bed so that you can sleep, wake up and start working on the goals you set the night before.
The Nighttime Routine Hangover
I often joke that this routine gives me a hangover due the mental clarity I experience the following morning. I find myself rested and extremely motivated to start working on my goals. This state of consciousness confidently propels you headlong into the waves of responsibility. This routine taught me that you cannot occasionally turn on the mindset that will allow you to achieve great things. The mindset required to perform at a high-level is a habit cultivated on a decision-by-decision basis. When I do not follow through with this routine, I end up walking like Frankenstein to the coffee pot mulling over the tasks of the upcoming day. I also feel more irritable and less grateful. If 30 minutes of nightly discipline will turn into a 16-hour day of gratitude and energized concentration, the value proposition of this routine is obvious.
A helpful concluding tip
If you are laying awake in bed after completing these activities and still cannot fall asleep, my best advice is not to grow progressively angrier as you count the amount of sleep you are losing. I believe that this just pours fuel on the fire of insomnia. Instead of getting upset with yourself, just continue to repeat the steps of your routine until you eventually feel tired.
My Challenge to You:
Adopt one of the activities above and try to do it before bed three times this week. Set a goal time to fall asleep and allow yourself 30 minutes to complete the activity. Do not beat yourself up if you do not have the time to complete it! Remember that cultivating healthy habits is for your benefit and happiness. This means you should forgive yourself for not being perfect and be proud of each incremental effort you make in the right direction.
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