I am fascinated by how our perception of who we are influences our daily actions and outlook on life. Our identity is a part of our everyday experience, yet we seldom acknowledge it directly. Something so imperceptible yet infinitely complex, identity extends far beyond our name, profession, friend group or hobbies; it is how we derive personal worth and extract meaning from our daily experiences. This is of tremendous importance, as our personal definition of who we are determines the quality of our lives. What holds us back from transforming our identity is our ego; and no, not only the guy with a Bluetooth headset and a license plate on his red Corvette that reads “El Capitan” has one. Our ego is responsible for persistently directing our thoughts and actions to serve our most immediate emotional and social interests.It is our identity that can be changed to serve our most wholesome desires, while our ego causes us to act selfishly. If we do not consciously work to create an inspiring identity, our egos will control our consciousness and ruin any chance we have at fulfillment.
Identity
Our identity is something intangible yet very real. Not only is it real, but it has a dramatic impact on how we see the world. Our conception of who we are is heavily dependent on our thoughts, actions, appearance and behavior. Once we begin to peel back the layers of what constitutes an identity, we see that it can be changed through conscious deliberation. The realization that your identity is changeable is the first large step toward personal growth. The beliefs we have about ourselves largely result from our seemingly inconsequential daily actions. It is through deliberately choosing our actions that we can improve our self-esteem and alter how we perceive ourselves.
As an example, say someone spends 15 hours a week watching Netflix. This activity is not accompanied by any mental complexity. Without a challenge to overcome or an avenue to express ourselves, it is hard to know what sort of psychological obstacles lie within us. Let’s instead say that the person spends those same 15 hours a week split evenly between the following 3 activities: community service, taking photographs and mountain biking. That same person's identity now includes being a physically active artist who is also a helpful member of the community. With activities that challenge us physically and engage us creatively, we have a better understanding of our internal makeup.These activities consume consciousness and provide a new perspective on the internal and external events of life. Thus, we can see that identity follows from actions and can be changed by choice.
Our identities should be invested in as they are our most important intangible asset. Our identities are so profoundly powerful that they exist in situations where we are not physically present. They even have the potential to live longer than us. The ethical values, accomplishments and personality traits that encompass who we are have the capability to inspire the generations to come. For example, even though Martin Luther King Jr. is deceased, when we emulate his behavior and personal values, we keep his identity alive as we are behaving exactly as he would. After taking the steps to improve our self-concept, we can not only improve the quality of our own lives, but we can inspire others to become the best version of themselves. In order to change our identities, we must regularly take inventory of personality traits that are disagreeable and use mindfulness to change them. It can be easy to think that our most negative traits are a permanent fixture of who we are, but as Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds”. Just because you have been acting in a certain way for a number of years does not mean you must continue to act that way. Our biggest roadblock to change is the fear that people will discouragingly tell us that we have changed. But change is nothing to be feared, as the natural environment and everything that it encompasses is in an infinite state of change. You owe it to yourself and those around you to make your self-concept exactly what you want it to be.This alone can demonstrate to people that change is nothing to be averted, but rather celebrated and embraced. It is possible for anyone to change their identity in a single instant. All it takes is making the daily effort to improve our habits, virtues and thought patterns to earn the trust of others and build a reputation of excellence.
As a caveat, it is important to think critically about why you want to change your identity. This is why it is of colossal importance to have a strong ethical, philosophical or spiritual foundation guiding your behavior. We can easily become so intoxicated by having a powerful identity that we believe we are the center of the universe. This is a perfect time to introduce the demon that lives in the attic of our being, The Ego.
Ego
The ego is the self-centered narrator that judges our most immediate needs to be superior to those around us. Our most convincing and emotionally charged internal dialogues appeal to the idea that we are the most important people in the world. Our conversational use of the term ego is exclusively reserved for those who are boastful, dismissive of other's ideas and easily offended. This narrow conception of who has an ego and who does not overlooks the fact that we all view ourselves as blameless and justified in our decisions. Without recognizing the existence and power of our own ego, we lose the self-awareness necessary to change our behavior and transform our identity.
Our ego is responsible for what is defined as the “victim mentality”. This mentality fuels the internal narrative that says we are completely helpless in our circumstances and that we are doomed to stagnation. Our ego asserts that everything that has happened to us is unjust. With that soundtrack running through our heads, it is no wonder why one would feel powerless in an effort to change their life. While life can certainly be unfair, our ego often forgets to remind us is that life is not intended to be fair. Our ego thinks that our environment should adapt to our needs; however, as a nod to Uncle Darwin, we must remember that it is actually we who must adapt to our environment. This means taking control of the things that we have the power to control and fighting like hell to acclimate to the changing surroundings of our lives. If the ultimate goal is to create a strong identity based on honesty and accomplishment, we must transcend our primitive tendency toward selfishness and aspire to be something greater than ourselves. Our ego loses its control when we recognize that it's voice is speaking loudly rather than convincingly. A great tool for keeping a watchful eye on your ego is meditation. If your ego is nothing more than a stream of self-centered thoughts that flow through your head, then objectively observing that stream can show you the linear progression of your thought patterns and how they influence your behavior.
Our ego can be our biggest liability because we become a slave to our pride. Consider one of the most cautionary stories in the bible, the fall of Lucifer for believing himself to be superior to God. As C.S. Lewis points out in his book Mere Christianity, it is excessive pride that caused Lucifer to challenge God and become the Christian representation of evil. This cautionary tale is not specific to the religion of Christianity, The Buddha and other philosophers throughout the centuries have warned us that an unchecked ego will lead to suffering, pain and despair. This is not a recommendation to join a specific religion, but it highlights the importance of having a wholesome ethical credo as a foundation to your identity, the lack of which can cause a delusional and reckless pride. If we let our identity become based on a superiority to others, it will lead to isolation and contempt for those around us. I do not think that we can completely eradicate our ego’s influence, but mindfulness can help us govern its impact on our worldview.
Concluding Note
To transform our identity into something that fulfills, inspires, and influences those around us, we must deliberately focus our attitudes and behaviors in the direction of a beneficial purpose. A focused concentration on creating an impactful identity can help fight off the excessive pride that results from the tyrannical ego that tries to rule us all. We all have the necessary knowledge and ability to transform our identities in to something greater than ourselves. The only thing left to do is make the choice and execute.
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